"If we qualified for Euro 2000, we'd probably win it." - Kevin Keegan's words before Wednesday night's scoreless draw in Poland. Sigh.

"Like Tony Blair I'm proud to be British." - David Ginola. Don't ask us, we don't understand what he was on about either.

"And the Scots have won a corner in a very dangerous position." - A BBC Radio 5 commentator has a David Coleman-esque moment during the Estonia v Scotland game last week.

"I don't know what they're learning in their linesmen courses - when I ask them, `What was that about?' and they reply, `Shut your face', that's pretty heavy." - Martin Andermatt, manager of struggling German club Ulm, after he and his coach were sent off for arguing with a linesman during a match last week. Ulm also had four (count 'em) players sent off. Now that's pretty heavy.