Two words: "Shay" and "Given". Like Planet Football did you close your eyes when that Ali Karimi lad bore down on Lifford's most famous son in an alarmingly one-on-one type situation on Saturday evening? Thought so. And were you a touch concerned when the same Iranian poked the ball in a suspiciously goalwards direction soon after, before "Givo", as we now affectionately call him, deflected the ball from its goal-bound path? Indeed. Givo: we salute you.

Elsewhere? Well, this young fella by the name of Shane has been encouraging us, via emails, to drop in to Sporting Lisbon's official website to monitor Phil "Babbsie" Babbs' form for the Portuguese leviathans.

Nothing for it but to employ the services of our trusty internet translator Babel Fish. Ready? Salgueiros 1, Sporting 5: "Lazlo Boloni came back to bet in the system of three defences trunks, with Andres Cruz to the front of Beto and Phil Babb, allowing the advancing of the two laterals to supply the inexistence of any section of root". Mmm. As we said to young Shane, it sounded a bit like a Claudio Ranieri team talk to us.