NO, we haven't made it up, part 263: Vincent Jones is all set to land the part of butler Jeeves in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical adaptation of PG Wodehouse's yarns about posh boy Bertie Wooster.

"I've been practicing saying 'one lump or two' in a posh voice," said Vin, "it's a great role and I know I can do it." To which Planet Football says: crikey.